Work and some things...=)

I've been working for three weeks already and so far, I find it okay. The people are nice (except the BIG BOSS who lives up to being the BOSS said my officemates), the place is very accessible and the pay is okay. I hope I can find "my place" in that company. It feels good to be actually working again. It made me feel useful again and "alive" after being in hibernation for a long time.
I've been sensing that someone from our office likes me. I can sense that he's a little interested... engaging me in small talks, fishing for info...stuff like that. But I don't think it will lead to a relationship. I just don't feel the "spark", the "magic" that I've been feeling for that guy who made me cry my eyes out. Blame it on my perception of that "darn, ideal guy"; he just doesn't fit the bill. Here I go again, shutting someone out even before he comes close enough to knock on my door. I hope I wouldn't regret this. Actually, this is too early to make conclusions; we've known each other for only 3 weeks and he even thinks that I am attached. I don't think he will make any move any minute now. Probably, I'm just too advanced and too sensitive because of what I've been through with Hub. I am still hurting from that experience. Let's see where this will lead. I think I have to widen my view a bit more so I can see everyone, not just "that one who never was, never is and never will be". It's high time that I see beyond what my eyes can see. I may never know but the bus may have passed but I just didn't see it because I was waiting for the wrong ride.

Stubborn, Stupid, Silly Me

I never really learn. Tsk...tsk...while stuck in traffic yesterday going to work, I suddenly made a deal with destiny that if by some "miraculous intervention" I make it to work on time, it means that Hub is really 'the One'. Well, I was resigned to the fact that I won't make it, I know I won't make it... Aside from being stuck for an hour in traffic, the shuttle driver decided to cut his trip shorter by turning left at Emerald Ave. which made me walk a block, almost two blocks, actually. I was even stopped by the guards of the building since I still don't have my ID yet so it took me several minutes to log in and present another ID! Who would think that I would still make it before nine? My time card clocked in: 8:57!!! Whew!!! I did make it. So does that mean it's really him. In my dreams probably...well, that's how I see it. I texted him just to say hi and he didn't even bother to reply. When will I ever learn? And I thought it was over four and a half months ago. I thought he had stopped hurting me...but from the looks of it, he still does. The pain remains and continues to pierce my being. When will it ever stop?

Breathless

Blame it on Raf. Why does he have to be so darn nice to me? I know it had only been 7 and a half days since we met but yesterday, I was palpitating---the kind reserved only for Hub! So is this what it is? I've heard he has a girlfriend who's in the US and I feel that another officemate who's close to him is also eyeing him. So what am I to do? I guess I just have to let things be. Probably he's just like that, so nice to everyone especially to newbies. Sigh. I have to check on myself before I fall into this "trap" again...seven years is no joke and I definitely cannot allow myself to be broken again...